i don't understand.
ok, maybe i do.
i kinda envy my friends, those who truly know what to do with their lives, those who truly has passion for the studies, those who really love what they have determined their life path to be.
me? i chose, 2 years ago, out of pure logic. it's a good course. it's a marketable course. i did well in bio. i'd probably secure the scholarship easily thanks to 9mp plan and a hint of eloquence.
now? i wonder if it is better if i had done form 6, take two years to truly see and understand what i like. with the enormous, thick chain i call a bond and a contract (don't get me wrong, i'm truly grateful for the scholarship), there isn't this option of changing major.
siiigggggghhhhh.
i wonder. i know i still refuse to let anyone beat my CGPA =p and i'm too kiasu that i really wanna excel in everything i do. and well, i can tolerate studying something i might not love for 3 more years.
but how when i graduate? can i spend a lifetime doing something i might not love that much? i wonder. what is passion for a subject? can i love what i am doing?
haha.
not that i have that much of a choice, right? lol. i hope i figure it out by the end of sophomore year, so that if i truly have passion in this or another field, i can either focus greatly on it later or double major/take a minor.
coz' i really really don't want to spend my life doing something i don't like. it's gonna suck. like swimming against tides =(
haha. btw, give me insights. while pondering my life choices and livelihood, i randomly played a quiz.
am i really psychology material? am i really the social science, the liberal arts kind, rather than the pure science type? why, oh why, did i, in secondary school, believe i truly loved bio and chem and physics then?
i'm confused. geez. going to be 20 and i'm still confused about what to do with my life. tasukete kudasai~!
ok. in the meantime, i'm just gonna study cell bio, c++ and the rest. too late for regrets...
did i once hear that love for something can be cultivated?
hmm.
You Are An INFP |
 The Idealist You are a creative person with a great imagination. You enjoy living in your own inner world. Open minded and accepting, you strive for harmony in your important relationships. It takes a long time for people to get to know you. You are hesitant to let people get close to you. But once you care for someone, you do everything you can to help them grow and develop. In love, you tend to have high (and often unrealistic) standards. (haha. i didn't know that) You are very sensitive. You tend to have intense feelings. At work, you need to do something that expresses your personal values. (my sentiments exactly. can i do something i don't really love all my life?) You would make an excellent writer, psychologist, or artist. (bio seems soooo far from these) How you see yourself: Unselfish, empathetic, and spiritual (i'm decidedly selfish =p why else would i burden you with my complaints?) When other people don't get you, they see you as: Unrealistic, naive, and weak |
7 comments:
don't all people experience that moment when they are totally clueless about their life? I've read somewhere that whenever you experience difficulty, you should always try your very best. And when your very best can't even save you, strike out in a new path. Then maybe you will be happier that way. :)
Liz,
I feel your anguish. Biomedical Science? I really don't know whether I like it or not. But, no choice right?
Just don't stressed yourself out too much. That's what I'm telling myself too. I have a few teaching assistants (TAs) who are in graduate school now and they told us that they still do not know what they like or want from life. They are still searching. So, if they are still searching, I guess it makes sense for us to be still searching. =)
Ganbate!
Subby is right.
I was really lost for quite sometime last semester. Kind of stressed out at that time. And, I am still in the middle of no where now I guess, taking MechE just like I declared last time out of pure logic (as you put it). I don't know whether I will like those thermodynamic or whatever dynamic stuff. So far, it seems that I like things that are just not in my major. Example: Japanese that I have yet to decide to take or not. =.=
Don't be too stressful about it.
Smile. =)
Are you deeply intimidated by our first bio class with that so-called pop-quiz that subsequently causes you to re-think about your decision of taking Bio?
I think you should not worry so much, you will like the subject well once you are on track again after some revisions and by that time, you won't think it as a burden then. Enjoy it!
yuenshin: haha. there isn't a new path unless i have so much money to fork for a degree =p i refuse to go US-M. haha.
subby: yeah... no choice =( but well, if they are searching.. haha. i guess i'll continue searching ^^
yoke peng: lol, i thought i was the only one... haha. i was reading so many people's essays and read passion in their words. then i looked at myself... and .... haha. everything was spur-of-moment-decision..
weiyoung: lol, nah.. not just that quiz. i've thought of this for quite some time already... since last fall i think.... lol
Maybe you're actually not that clueless about what you're supposed to do with your life.
Since primary school (or kindergarten), our path has been marked clearly in front of our eyes. PTS - pass; UPSR & PMR - straight As; SPM - straight A1s; Top student in school; Excel in co-curricular activities; etc.
We've never had to really think about our lives ourselves.
And that could have led you to doubting your choice. You said you might not love it that much, but you can. If you try to, you can.
Yuen Shin's right; always try your best. After graduating, who knows if you'll just love your job more when you get to know the people there. Haha. But no pressure! Just my thought. :D
lolz. qi, you know i love you? your words are so true... haha.
i guess i can try to love what i am studying. hopefully. haha. if not i guess it's never too late to change. after all, my CEO uncle of an insurance company graduated with a degree in Civil Engineering. don't ask me what happened. lol. and my urm, mom's cousin? he graduated in genetic engineering and ended up in sales. earning even more money now to boot =p
hahahahhaha. for now, i guess i'll just have to cram. haha ^^
*yeah, true, i'm a spoilt brat who didn;t really need to make my own choices. i just fulfilled the expectations of others. haha. guess im actually having problem adapting to freedom! XD
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